Yours truly is looking for companionship online. That’s actually what brought me here; I found someone who gave me two days of bliss (cuddles, not sex, mind out of the gutter, people) and then she dumped me and broke my heart. Well not my heart, but broke something inside of me, which brought me to these realizations and to my current state of dark joy – I owe her a lot (which I have told her.)
But I figure I will keep looking because not only might I find someone (probably not), but it is an excellent chance for more suffering, more chances to practice falling in.
However, I would really like to experience this rejection and failure up close from actual women who decide they don’t want me, or better yet, tempt me with hope before dashing, like that other one did. What I am getting instead is a massive onslaught of bots and scammers that want me to engage in endless typing back and forth, or want me to pay to sign up to some bogus verification site, or want me to go to some janky link.
So what I have been doing to pass the time is playing a little game, to try to see how long I can keep them interacting with me without ever letting them accomplish their goals. I play a little dumb, and never accuse them of being scammers.
I get the feeling that there’s something more Abyss appropriate I could be doing here, but I can’t put my finger on it. Oh, well. We’ll see.
Perhaps I will eventually find someone to hurt my feels in real life.
Wish me luck.