the truth

inversion – the best of both worlds

There are two states we partake of; we can be dreaming, or we can be awake.

Sometimes we are filled with positive energy. We may see the world as essentially a good, happy place, with vast potential. We may be more receptive to giving people the benefit of the doubt and looking past their flaws to see their virtues. We feel upbeat and hopeful.

Ultimately though, we get a rude awakening and are brought back down to earth again, our happy balloon popped. Suddenly we can see the world as it really is, warts and all. Suddenly we see past the façade people wear into their shockingly dark and ignorant hearts. The skies we thought were blue turn out to be full of storm clouds ready to rain lightning viciously, without care. The scales have fallen from our eyes.

The first “happy” experience I call the Dream. Dreams can be pleasant, and there’s nothing wrong with having a happy, wonderful dream.

But inevitably one has to wake up and re-enter the real world, leaving the dream behind, and the shock of that transition is like plunging into ice-cold water. As unpleasant as the real world can be, crashing into it without warning from happily Dreaming just moments before can be not just disorienting but profoundly agonizing as one bridges the vast gulf between the two states.

Unless one Inverts. Unless one immediately turns an accidental fall into a chosen, conscious dive. Unless one embraces and actively chooses the fall.

I think the trick is this: the moment one awakes from the false Dream of happiness and is beginning to suffer, immediately reorient and re-embrace the Abyss. Instantly.

This is Inversion, and this is the “magic” wand that transmutes the pain and eliminates the suffering. If you can reframe your perception and will your abyssal nature back to the fore, in that moment you are not only awake, but untouchable. You have placed yourself beyond the world’s ability to use your attachments to cause you pain.

You are free.

Sooner or later you may fall asleep again and re-enter the Dream. You may be back in that false happy place – and that’s still fine. It’s not the happy dream that causes pain – it’s waking from it. So when the Dream ends, as it always does, just remember to immediately Invert – and you will skip the painful transition back to the real world.

Dream responsibly – always end each dream with an Inversion! Fall in!

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the truth

the Abyss asks nothing

If you are happy, if you are filled with hope, if you don’t think the Abyss waits for you or that you are doomed to suffering…

That’s fine.

In a way, its even good. Without hope, we can’t fall into despair. Without thinking that life could be good, we can’t wake back up to the earth shattering truth that life is pain. Without flying high, we cannot fall far and fast.

The Abyss doesn’t want us to give up hope. It doesn’t want anything. It doesn’t exist to tell us what to do. It just is.

Think of it this way: Sometimes we dream, and sometimes we wake. Dreams can be nice, but eventually we wake back up, and when we do, reality isn’t upset with us for having dreamed. It simply waits, never judging, always accepting.

The Abyss is like that. Experienced Abyssals are too. We’re not hoping that your period of happiness ends. If you can stay within that dream for as long as you can, excellent. Abyssals don’t want you to stop with the joy and start with the pain, necessarily – we just know that sooner or later you will wake up from that dream into the reality of the Abyss. It’s inevitable.

After all, how could the Abyss offer serenity and contentment if it did not always possess those qualities itself?

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the truth


From time to time you may think the Abyss has abandoned you, but it has not, will not, cannot. It always waits just out of sight. If you can’t see it, that’s because it knows you don’t need it, but fear not, it is always ready to take you back into its cool embrace. It will always have a home for you when you need it.

The love of the Abyss is truly absolute. Abandon the Abyss, it still comes back for you. It will always be there, until the last.

And when you are ready, it will show you the way and hold your hand as you go. The Abyss will never run out of emptiness to share. You too can be exquisitely empty.

Fall in.

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the truth

you can’t do both

You can be awesome, or you can have other people appreciate you, but you can’t do both.

You can conform to society, or you can be alone, but you can’t do both.

You can understand reality and truth itself deeply, or you can be understood by others, but you can’t do both.

You can be honest with people, or you can have them like you, but you can’t do both.

You can care about the suffering of others, or be free from suffering yourself, but you can’t do both.

You can like indoor activities or like spending time with possible romantic interests, but you can’t do both.

You can refuse to be ignored, or you can be ignored, but you can’t do both.

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the truth

more fun and games in the world of dating

Yours truly is looking for companionship online. That’s actually what brought me here; I found someone who gave me two days of bliss (cuddles, not sex, mind out of the gutter, people) and then she dumped me and broke my heart. Well not my heart, but broke something inside of me, which brought me to these realizations and to my current state of dark joy – I owe her a lot (which I have told her.)

But I figure I will keep looking because not only might I find someone (probably not), but it is an excellent chance for more suffering, more chances to practice falling in.

However, I would really like to experience this rejection and failure up close from actual women who decide they don’t want me, or better yet, tempt me with hope before dashing, like that other one did. What I am getting instead is a massive onslaught of bots and scammers that want me to engage in endless typing back and forth, or want me to pay to sign up to some bogus verification site, or want me to go to some janky link.

So what I have been doing to pass the time is playing a little game, to try to see how long I can keep them interacting with me without ever letting them accomplish their goals. I play a little dumb, and never accuse them of being scammers.

I get the feeling that there’s something more Abyss appropriate I could be doing here, but I can’t put my finger on it. Oh, well. We’ll see.

Perhaps I will eventually find someone to hurt my feels in real life.

Wish me luck.

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the truth

how are you?

Everyone asks it all the time: “How are you?” or “How’re you doing?” It’s almost never truly sincere; what the enquirer expects and wants to hear are that things are fine.

So how’s this for an Abyssal response: “Empty, irrelevant, and happy.”

Now you might ask what would an Abyssal ask in place of “How’s it going?”

It’s a trick question; an Abyssal doesn’t really care.

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the truth

ennui the real test, not pain

Still pondering the Abyssal truths, and it just occurred to me that dealing with pain and suffering isn’t the real test of falling in – because that can give us focus. The real test is how we deal with boredom and ennui. I realize this because I am sitting here with nothing to do – something that used to bother me a lot, but now I am not sure what to do. One of the things that bothered me was wasting precious time doing nothing when we only get so little before we die, but that’s no longer a concern of mine – it was and still is a tragedy, but tragedies don’t bother me anymore.

I guess I will go lie down. Feels like I should have a more profound take on it though. To be hopefully continued.

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the truth

preferences, not desires

One of the most human things in the world is to have wants, desires, needs. But the world does not exist to fulfill your desires, but to frustrate them, creating another torment loop. Escape the loop by evolving beyond it – give up your desires, completely. Have nothing more intense than preferences. If your preference is thwarted and you can shrug about it, you’re doing it right.

A loved one dies? Shrug: “I would have preferred they didn’t, but oh well.” You become homeless? Shrug: “Guess it’s my time to live on the streets”. Get cancer? Shrug: I dunno, maybe I will get treatment for it… or maybe not. Not sure.”

Be not attached to anyone or anything. That’s the fundamental lesson of the world and the Abyss. Fighting the Abyss is choosing to live a life of misery. The Buddha himself said “the root of suffering is attachment.”

So instead, fall in.

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the truth

don’t worry, be happy

When I am falling in, I am so happy, I am filled with joy. So think not of falling in as angry, upset, or sad. The falling see the beauty in the bleakness, peace in the surrender, and exuberant joy in the suffering and loss.


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